मेरी आँखों में जो बसता है
सुन्दर वो मंज़र किसका है ।१।
हर धड़कन में मीठी टीस
उठाता खंजर किसका है ।२।
मेरे घर के धुँधले आईने में
यादों का पिंजर किसका है ।३।
खिज़ा को जो खुद तलब करे
गुलशन वो बंजर किसका है ।४।
बोया था तूने बबूल अमित
पूछता है शज़र यह किसका है ।५।
In response to: Reena’s Exploration Challenge #Week 58
वाह
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धन्यवाद !!!
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English translation by Reena
a vision lights up my being
going deep, from the peeps
carved by daggers- into many hearts
each spasm taking parts to whole
precious moments, treasured bonds
trapped in hazy mirrors at home
autumnal longings haunt
barren gardens of the soul
you shall reap what you sow
don’t ask who brought in the thorns
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you have a way with words… love the expressions that you use… e.g. barren gardens of the soul…
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Thanks! I just realized that 17 translations have been done.
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wow… didn’t realize that… it’s amazing… I look forward to your translations… hope I continue to churn out poems you find interesting enough to translate…
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Hope I continue with the challenge 🙂 I am in process of launching my startup in the next 3-6 months. Cutting down on creative writing is a conscious choice. The addiction distracts.
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Sure… one must keep finding new challenges… all the best for the startup… Will continue to enjoy your poetry challenge while it lasts…
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You may find this discussion interesting https://dversepoets.com/2018/10/15/pub-talk-lost-in-translation/
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Indeed… interesting read… for me, the following stands out “Obviously a part of the poem will always be lost in translation”… the discussion talks about metaphors in a language. For me, language is closely tied down to a culture, so, many references, experiences, etc. are tied down to a language, and may not translate to another . I try to translate some known couplets sometimes. For example, I was translating the following couplet:
आंखें मूंदकर बैठे हों तस्सवुर में किसी के
ऐसे में कोई छम से आ जाये तो क्या हो
Now, how does one translate छम से आना… this is what I ended up writing:
I am lost
deep in reverie
she tiptoes
I see you doing the same thing, keeping the essence and writing what conveys the message in the target language. Of course, some things are inadvertently lost in translation.
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Reblogged this on Reena Saxena and commented:
a vision lights up my being
going deep, from the peeps
carved by daggers- into many hearts
each spasm taking parts to whole
precious moments, treasured bonds
trapped in hazy mirrors at home
autumnal longings haunt
barren gardens of the soul
you shall reap what you sow
don’t ask who brought in the thorns
Translated from the original Urdu poem by hecblogger (Amit Agrawal). Read on for an authentic feel …
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