मत छोड़ कर जा मुझे यूँ तन्हा
कि तेरा महबूब, तेरा माज़ी हूँ मैं ।१।
जो भी चाहे सज़ा दे मुझे
अब हर एक सितम को राज़ी हूँ मैं ।२।
क्यों गिनाती हो तुम मुझे गुनाह मेरे
तेरा शरीक़-ए-गुनाह, तेरा क़ाज़ी हूँ मैं।३।
है दुनिया की हर शह क़दमों में तेरे
जो हार गयी हो, वह बाज़ी हूँ मैं ।४।
निकाला गया था खुल्द से आदम अमित
तो क्या उस से बड़ा पाज़ी हूँ मैं ।५।
In response to: Reena’s Exploration Challenge # 72
i like the fourth couplet the best – conveys a sense of victory.This appeared to be challenging at first glance, but I managed the rhyming too. Thanks for throwing back challenges at me n response to the Exploration Challenge 🙂
English translation –
Do not leave me alone
I’m your love, your past
Penalize me any way
I’m at your disposal to cast
Why count my sins?
We’re partners-in-crime, no justice to last
The world’s at your footsteps
But I’m the battle you lost
Adam regrets – Paradise Lost
I did not learn from the past.
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You got it spot on… the fourth couplet was meant to claim victory… in fact, the couplets all convey different moods, it’s pleading in the first, repentant in second, threatening in the third, mocking in the fourth, uncaring in the fifth (or sort of looping back in the state of first one)…
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Excellent!
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Reblogged this on Reena Saxena and commented:
Amit Agrawa’s (hecblogger) response to the Exploration Challenge – English translation given in Comments.
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See the discussion generated on StoryMirror about translations.
https://forum.storymirror.com/topic/87/translations
https://forum.storymirror.com/topic/408/translations
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Phenomenal piece. Special Thanks to Reena for bringing me here and allowing me to know what your most beautiful pen has transcribed.
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Thanks… your comments really made my day… Indeed, Reena has done a fabulous job with the translation to take my piece to a wider audience….
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