तोड़ दो बंधन सभी
आ जाओ मेरे ज़ानिब
बन कर मेरे हबीब
न मिलो तुम मुझसे
कहाँ है यह वाज़िब
मिले तुम्हें मेरा रक़ीब
कब तक छलेंगें सपने
अब है यही मुनासिब
अपना लूँ अपना नसीब
बन गया काफ़िर अमित
हो तेरा खुदा हाफ़िज़
दे दो मुझे मेरा सलीब
In response to: Reena’s Exploration Challenge # 92
The flow appears confusing – from expectation to accepting defeat. Maybe, reversing it will make it look optimistic.
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There are two crossovers in this poem… in the first stanza, poet asks the muse to break societal norms and cross over to him…the last one is about poet crossing over to being a non believer… that said, I do agree that flow is not smooth due to the use of different tenses in the stanzas…
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That brings some clarity. One event can be the cause, and another effect. I still think it can work in both directions.
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I agree…
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Reblogged this on Reena Saxena and commented:
Break the bonds – Tod do Bandhan – a Hindi poem by hecblogger in response to Exploration Challenge #92
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Just see how this works
“May your God be with you
I take to atheism
Give me my cross!
I accept defeat….
Why chase dreams
unattainable and gross?
It’s not fair
you meet my rivals
and dump me as dross?
Snap all bonds
Come to me, beau
It’s only a barrier – just cross”
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This is brilliant… love how you use “cross” in different meanings in opening and closing stanzas…
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Thanks 🙂
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Good take.
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Thank you !!!
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लफ्जों का चुनाव बेहतरीन है
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बहुत बहुत शुक्रिया …
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